Saturday, March 15, 2008

Marriage and children--a dangerous cocktail

Before children, my husband and I would laze in bed all day on the weekends, celebrating our childlessness by trying to make a baby. We would go antiquing, shopping, or out to the park, holding hands and talking like civilized adults.
That was three kids ago.
Now we barely manage to stay in bed six hours a night, have only parent oriented words to say to each other, and have fond memories of sex. (Or at least he does. I call it the baby making nightmare)
We are up to our elbows in baby shit, potty training, meals, bottles, doctors appointments, and day to day life as parents.
Somewhere along the way, we lost the couple. I personally think they drowned in a sea of spit up, urine soaked diapers, and tears (mine, not the kids). The only touching we do now is to shove the other parent out of bed to check on child 1,2, or 3.
So how do you get the couple you once knew to resurface when your family is now more than doubled it original size? How can romance and affection survive three children determined to drive you apart--dragging you to separate corners is a pretty good indication.
You cannot schedule romance when your children don't exist on a schedule. You can't have long meaningful conversations when all you really want is sleep and to eat a meal unmolested by greedy, begging children. You can't escape when no one is brave and stupid enough to keep all three of your heathens.
So how can a marriage survive the onset of parenthood?
Or is it doomed to sink beneath the tide of diapers, "I don't wanna's" and parental responsibility?

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