Saturday, June 25, 2011

Things I want my children to remember

If I die tomorrow, I have a list of things I want my children to remember.
It's one of those running lists in my head that I add to ask something strikes me as important.
Some of the things may seem odd, but, hey, that's just the way I float. K?

I don't care if you get into wreck that you wear clean underwear. You'll crap your pants anyway, so save yourself the embarrassment--just drive carefully.

When you think you love someone enough to lose your virginity to them, realize you don't love them enough if you can't picture me handing out condoms and saying, "Have fun, kids!"

When you decide it's time to get your own place, keep in mind that four hours away will not stop me from visiting. Frequently So save me the gas money, which I could spend on something nice for you, like food, and move within a few miles of home.

When you decide to drink something alcoholic, remember that there will be a hangover the next morning. Remember that there will be me, standing over you with a hangover the next morning. Just something to think about.

Remember that some people suck ho ho's. They are cruel. Even when you love them, they are cruel, and, when they break your heart, and someone undeserving of it will, I will be there, plotting to kick their ass or planning a drive by. Mama just rolls that way.

Know that I love you like crazy cakes. Some days, I just love you plain crazy. Like Jack Nicholson in The Shining. That's me about you.

Always know that I'm proud of you, even when you fall flat on your face, because I know you'll get up and finish what you started. And I'll have band aids and kisses for boo boo's, even when it embarrasses the hell out of you.

And remember I said no. I say no in the back of your mind when you are considering making a bad choice. I scream it when you're about to do something amazingly stupid. I whisper it when you ask yourself if you love them enough. I say no.

Only a handful of times will I say yes. When it's the one. When you hold up your baby with doubt in your eyes, needing reassurance, I will say yes so softly your ears won't hear, but your heart will. And when I see the fear and sadness in your eyes, I say yes, I will be waiting, wherever, whenever, for you. Always for you. Simply yes.