Living with boys

I knew from marriage that the male sex was a stinky, noisy, strange group.
But I didn't expect my boys to join ranks quite so quickly, or, well, so rankly.
Bug has become a consummate belcher. On command, with no provocation, and with the proudest look on his face as he chuckles, "Excuse me," post emission.
Boo is jet propelled.
This morning, as I sat at my desk and he curled to my side for what I thought was a sweet snuggle, I patted his bottom.
And he farted.
on my hand.
And I could feel the ripples.
After sanitizing my hand to the sounds of gleeful giggles and a song about toots, I realized my babies are becoming little men.
I should have expected it. Laying in bed at night, The Man emits noises and aromas that keep my hair curly--even my nose hair has a jaunty wave thanks to him.
Although he can't belch, he does applaud our boys efforts to break the sound barrier and to belch the alphabet. Bug is up to G, I think.
I always knew my boys would become men one day, but I just never expected them to foray into the world of manly funk quite so early in life. They are precocious boogers, I know!
So I'm investing in air fresheners and dousing lit candles and holding my nose for the next . . . 50 years. "Cause even when they have moved on to make fragrant homes of their own, i will have the original left with me.
The Man.
In all his stinky glory.