Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Living with boys

I knew from marriage that the male sex was a stinky, noisy, strange group.
But I didn't expect my boys to join ranks quite so quickly, or, well, so rankly.
Bug has become a consummate belcher. On command, with no provocation, and with the proudest look on his face as he chuckles, "Excuse me," post emission.
Boo is jet propelled.
This morning, as I sat at my desk and he curled to my side for what I thought was a sweet snuggle, I patted his bottom.
And he farted.
on my hand.
And I could feel the ripples.
After sanitizing my hand to the sounds of gleeful giggles and a song about toots, I realized my babies are becoming little men.
I should have expected it. Laying in bed at night, The Man emits noises and aromas that keep my hair curly--even my nose hair has a jaunty wave thanks to him.
Although he can't belch, he does applaud our boys efforts to break the sound barrier and to belch the alphabet. Bug is up to G, I think.
I always knew my boys would become men one day, but I just never expected them to foray into the world of manly funk quite so early in life. They are precocious boogers, I know!
So I'm investing in air fresheners and dousing lit candles and holding my nose for the next . . . 50 years. "Cause even when they have moved on to make fragrant homes of their own, i will have the original left with me.
The Man.
In all his stinky glory.


Tequilamama said...

Too funny-- we will keep it our secret, that they really learned it from their mom. lol The Man

Tara said...

My sister's crowning childhood achievement? Belching the alphabet. So be careful or Punk will outshine her older brothers. LMAO!