Friday, July 24, 2009

Makes you wonder

Some things my children do makes me wonder why I ever thought being a parent was a good idea.
Last night, at the grocery store, Boo decided to assert his independence in a remarkably stupid way.
He didn't get something he wanted, so he sat down in the middle of the floor and refused to budge.
I tried all the tricks.
The Bye trick:
"Bye, Boo. I'm gonna miss you! Hope you find a nice new family!" and then wander around a corner to peak at him as he waves bye to me and looks at the stuff at eye level.
The "Get over here now or your ass is grass" threat:
He knew I was bluffing--public place, lots of witnesses. He knew i wouldn't beat him senseless.
The "Use your big brother to get my way" trick:
I sent bug to reason with him. No avail. I'm lucky Bug didn't join him.
The "look at the poor man you're blocking with this silliness" trick:
Boo grinned at him, waved jauntily, and didn't move.
So I broke down. I grabbed his arm, hauled him up, and muttered threats under my breath while we paid and made our way to the car.
I am a word class guilter, and by the time we left the parking lot, I'd received countless apologies and I still didn't feel a bit better.
Until this morning.
When The Man had a chance to talk with his wayward middle child.
And Boo got it.
When you make Mama unhappy, not only do you have to deal with her, which is bad enough, but she has back up.
And when Mama ain't happy, Daddy really isn't happy--cause who do you think I'm taking it out on since the law frowns on murdering my children?
The Man.

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