The Land of Attitude

My children have attitudes.
I'm okay with it for the most part. I am a firm believer that you have to have a bit of a 'tude in order to survive.
But when my not quite five year old calls me Mother in that tone, we have problems.
When my three year old tells me he's not going to do something in that tone, we have problems.
And when my twenty month old tells me no and sticks a hand on her hip, we have BIG problems.
The Man finds it funny in a sick, twisted way.
Me? not so much. Because I know in a few more years we'll have three teenagers, all with attitudes, and if I don't get my bluff in now, I'm never going to survive.
At least I don't have three daughters.
There's my silver lining.
But I find myself faced with a bit of a quandary.
How do I control the attitude without crushing their spirits?
How do I maintain some semblance of control when I know they have their own minds, spirits, and desires, however childlike?
And most importantly, how do I survive?
The books I've read? Useless. The coping skills The Man employs at work? A joke.
Our kids see through the BS and march right on.
Military schools are starting to look very appealing.
Except them they would be taught hand to hand combat and weapon skills.
Nope. Not a good idea at all.
So I'm back at square one. Two. And three.
And faced with three teenagers in the making.
I'm taking up heavy drinking now.