Friday, April 4, 2008

I've officially become older than dirt
On the Today show, my favorite pre-teen crush, New Kids on the Block, just announced their reunion tour.
I now know I'm older than dirt.
It's a sign of a personal Apocalypse when my youthful crush is having a reunion tour. It means I've grown up, grown old, an now join the racks of women throwing their panties at Mick Jagger, Steve Tyler, and KISS.
I feel a bittersweet longing to be thirteen again, passionately in love with Jon and wanting to settle down and marry him, spending our lives touring the world.
It's like catching a glimpse of the girl I used to be before I grew up, married, and had my babies.
It's sweet and sad, and listening to their music reminds me of a time years ago when I had the freedom to dream the impossible dream for myself. Now I dream of a full night's sleep and a good future for my kids.
Strange how things change.
But seeing them again, oh that was wonderful. I could remember how young they were when I first discovered them, and find myself looking at the grown men with a woman's eye instead of a girls. Although my rose colored glasses are still on, they just have bifocals in them now.
I still know all the words to their songs. my dear husband, knowing how his insane wife still clung to a childhood crush and being the sharing kind of man he is, bought me a CD that i still listen to when nostalgia hits. And I'll probably buy their new CD, just for old time's sake. I'll curl my bangs and spray enough hairspray on them that they defy gravity and good sense. I will roll the ankles of my jeans up and put on my swatch watch and my bangles. I will allow myself to be transported back in time.
And when I'm done with my trip down memory lane, I'll return to my real life of dirty diapers, laughter, tears, and one hell of a promising future.

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