Monday, October 13, 2008

This week

This week it will be six long years since I lost my first baby.
It will be six long years since I stared hopefully at an ultrasound and waited for a heartbeat.
It will be six years since I knew my baby had died.
Six years since I had my D&C.
Time has certainly passed and I have been blessed with three happy, healthy children.
But I know this week, when I look around the dinner table, there will be that one face missing. There always is.
Sitting right next to Boo is my ghost child, telling me all about her day at school and arguing with her brothers while her baby sister watching her big eyed and admiringly.
This week, at bedtime, I will tuck in my memory of that fleeting child, pressing a kiss to her forehead and telling her "Mama loves you whole bunches, you know."
Because I still do.
Octoebr 15th is National Miscarriage Awareness Day. Strangely enough, it's also the day I lost my baby.
Please take a moment to check on those women you know how have loved and lost.

1 comment:

The Nowling's said...

I hope you are doing a little bit better today. I know personally it is not easy. You have 3 beautiful faces to look at everyday and that is a blessing.