Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The truth about loyalty

I have a job interview tomorrow.
Let the panic begin.
I haven't interviewed for a job in SIX YEARS! I mean, what if its all changed? What if I don't know the secret handshake? What if they don't like me? It will be like high school all over again.
Okay, the flashback has passed. I think.
I've been with my current job for six years. That means I've been loyal through a miscarriage and three babies. I was loyal when my husband was deployed to Cuba for a year (and not as a detainee).
I've been a good (Alright fair. Okay passable, geez, leave a woman a little self esteem, would ya?) employee. I've driven in on ice and snow just to make sure the clinic was still in one piece and the dogs and cats weren't pet popsicles. I've handled irate clients, angry dogs, and pissed off pusses.
And my penis wrinkle of a boss cut my pay and hours back to the point where I have to look at my three kids and explain that "Mommy can only afford to feed one of you, you'll have to fight it out amongst yourselves. Let me know how that goes." (My money's on Punk. She may be little, but she's sneaky.)
My loyalty got me royally screwed. Without the benefit of lube, if you know what I mean.
So I've had to pull on my big girl panties and put myself on the market. I even labeled myself slightly used, handle with care. This breech of trust hurt, and its a hurt I won't get over any time soon, I'm sure.
So I've done the frantic destruction of my closet looking for one outfit that isn't jeans or scrubs. Then the mad dash to the store when I realize all the grown up clothes I own are from three pregnancies ago and won't even fit over my big toe (another thing to thank my precious babies for when they get older--did you have to crave those blasted Twinkies every day?). I've hunted up my hooker heels and hose, cringing at the thought of giving up my comfy tennis shoes. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, realizing that the casual no make-up look I've gone for for the last six years will have to change into an adult, professional.
And all I can think is I was loyal.
And look where it got me.

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