Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Today my baby will walk into the halls of academia, letting go of my hand, crushing my heart, and waving goodbye as I fight back tears.
Today, someone else will enjoy my daughter's witty games, her easy laugh, and her blood curdling shrieks.
The shrieks I won't miss.
What can I say, I'm feeling a bit melancholy and twisted.
It is hard to believe only 26 months ago, she was inside me. I knew everything about her without ever seeing her face.
Today, I see her face, know every curve of it, every expression on it, as well as I know my own.
Better maybe, because mine is growing old at a remarkably fast rate.
I know every story there is to know.
And after today, I won't. I will no longer be the one to see all the stories as they happen. (along with the Man, who is a secondary player in my relationship with Punk.) I will be the one told the stories by a third party.
So today, I will cry for the baby Punk no longer is, for the first steps she's taken that I celebrate, and for the changes this will make in our mother/daughter dynamic.
I will spend my day worrying about her. Does she miss me? Is she happy? Is she having fun?
And when I pick her up, I will frantically scan her face for any changes I missed.
because a day in the life of my child is an eternity to this worried mom.

1 comment:

A 2 Z said...

This post takes me back 15 years. I remember crying for at least half a day. I called my husband who thought I needed a prescription of some sort. I was sure my daughter was also crying for me too. The time finally came to pick her up from preschool and she told me: go away mommy I want to play with my friends! Ouch! Motherhood sure has its moments! LOL You will both be fine! (:D)