Four years ago today

1. I was only a wife and woman, not a mama
2. I never understood how far baby poop could shoot across a room.
3. I didn't know how many tears I would cry any hurt inflicted upon another person.
4. I didn't have any idea that a crying baby would make milk shoot three feet across a room.
5. I didn't know how much fun it would be to shoot my husband with my front loaded bazooka boobs.
6. I didn't know that I could walk five miles in a circle around our living room, half asleep, holding a small, whimpering person and still rise for work the next day.
7. I didn't know that peeing a stick would become an obsession.
8. I didn't know that watching my husband with our child would be the sexiest thing I had ever seen.
9. I didn't realize that I would see my lost loved ones in the eyes of my baby.
10. I didn't realize my heart would swell and break so many times, no that I would gladly pick up the pieces and prepare for the next time a chubby little hand grabbed my heart and shattered it with just a word.
11. I didn't know that I would sneak into the baby's bedroom at night just because I was afraid he wasn't breathing.
12. And I didn't know I would stay in there just to watch him sleep.
13. I didn't know that my mind would photograph and memorize every mark on my child's body, refusing to let loose of the memory of even the smallest scrape.
14. I didn't know I would search frantically online, worldwide, for a lost beloved toy, and then pay an exorbitant amount to get it.
15. I didn't know that I could love someone so selfish, independent, and sarcastic more than life itself. I didn't know how my heart would warm to hear myself called "mommy" and I didn't know I would look so forward to everything my child does.

Happy fourth birthday, Bug. I love you whole bunches.