Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The meaning of respect

According to not quite four year old Bug (I've cleaned it up and clarified a few points, but this is how my oldest son's mind works!)

1. Respect means don't bite your brother. Even if he bites you first and even if he just happens to fall on your teeth, don't bite down.

2. Respect means don't take your brothers toys, even though throwing his best friend bear and watching him cry is so much fun!

4. Respect means shutting my mouth. (Even when I eat cause my mommy is tired of seeing the half chewed food rolling around in my mouth while I vividly describe my day's activities)

5. Respect means saying excuse me for everything. When I toot, I say excuse me. When daddy toots, I say excuse me. When anyone makes any strange noise, I say excuse me.

6. Respect means politely telling mommy she's wrong, that there are monster in my room and they come out and play with snakes and drive cars all night so I can't sleep and feel compelled to crawl into mommy and daddy's bed.

7. Respect means that I do not spin my captive baby sister round and round in her activity center, even after I'm told to stop that, because if she blows chunks, I'm going to be cleaning it up.

8. Respect means standing at the front door yelling at the dog to shut it, 'cause the neighbors are sleeping and no one wants to hear that loud of noise while they are sleeping.

9. Respect means convincing my brother to try new things, including furniture diving. If they don't work out for him, mommy and daddy will still have me to love, right?

10. And finally, respect means that although mommy occasionally slips and calls me and my brother and sister baby cockroaches, I should not repeat that to anyone, ever, for fear that DHS will come talk to my mommy. And if they talk to her, she'll be talking to me and my mommy loves to talk for a very long, long time!

No comments: