Tuesday, May 17, 2011


As the school year draws to a close and my kindergartener becomes a first grader, while my preschooler looks forwrad to kindergarten, I have a moment to reflect.
(I'm hiding in the bathroom so I can have five minutes of peace and quiet. If you count peace and quiet as my children banging on the door and asking what I'm doing in here.)
It's been a good year, a bumpy year, a year of highs and lows and lessons learned that I thought you might like to share with me.

1. Alvin and the Chipmunks 2: The Squeakwell is EVIL. Alvin's no gonads voice will insinuate itself into your child's head and make him give an unsuspecting girl a wedgie. And then tell his teacher Alvin told him to do it.

2. Preschool girls are way too advanced and pre pubescent boy crazy for me to allow my child to attend that school any longer. Yes, I know Boo is hot, but he's five and has medical school in his future, you shameless hussy.

3. Boys on sports teams will try anything to stop a runner from reaching base, including but not limited to: pushing, tripping, and blocking.

4. Said boys on sports teams will trash talk any foe who comes near them.

5. Teachers who love your child will delight in sharing his embarrassing moments with other teachers, including the next years teacher and telling them "Look what you'll have in your class next year."

6. Kindergarteners can get detention. At least twelve times in the school year. Maybe more, but twelve was our capstone. Just one detention shy of a baker's dozen. And you will be embarrassed each time you have to send back the signed form.

These are just a few of my academic lessons this year, taught to me by my children, who have enjoyed schooling me more than I would like to admit.

I'm upping my meds in prepation for next year.

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