Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Worry

I find it amazing that, as a mother, I don't worry about my kids the same way.
I don't worry about Bug the same was as I do Boo or Punk.
I will never have to worry about eiether of my boys getting pregnant, for example.
But, thanks to Boo's way with the girls and Bug's telling me "I'm cute and all the ladies like me" I do worry about them getting some woman pregnant before they are through with medical school.
I never worry about Boo making friends, but its a daily concern with Bug.
I never worry about Bug's academics.
I never worry about Boo's social skills.
I never worry about Punk failing to take over the world.
I do worry about Bug's adaptive skills and about him being lonely.
I do worry Boo will lose his temper and go Hulk on someone.
And I do worry that Punk will turn her considerable charm and determination to trhe dark side and we all will suffer under her baby Ugg boots.
I never knew, when pregnant and miserable and ready for my babies to just be born already, that I could worry so much about three little people who take up so much room in my life.
I worry about the sniffles, a cough, "is that a wheeze I hear?", about teeth and toes and tongues and torsos and everything that makes my heathens what they are.
I worry about their bright little minds being challenged enough.
I worry if I'm putting too much pressure on them to succeed early in life.
Or if I'm putting too little.
I worry about their little souls feeling enriched and empowered by something bigger than they are.
I worry when they talk to PeePaw's star that they don't really remember who PeePaw is.
In short, I worry.
I go through my day with only a fraction of my mind on my job and myself, and even smaller fraction on The Man (because after today's practical joke, he doesn't want me thinking about him too much). My mind is always on my kids.
It's no wonder I feeling like I'm losing it most days.
It's in three different bodies, in three different schools, worrying about three little people each day.
Just call me Sybil.

1 comment:

Tara said...

Comforting and yet sends a slight shiver throughout because as someone with only one child, you've been a wealth of information and provided a calm voice of reason many times for me. The fact that even an expert as yourself worries makes me feel normal and yet at the same time I can't help but think "oh CRAP. It's never going to end!".